E-readers, “Wave of the Future” and yet you can’t get them wet.

ImageKickstarter, kindle, ibooks, .PDF, is it the way of the future?  One thing I’ve noticed about waves is that people seem to chase rather than ride them.

I am of the belief that inevitably print will one day become extinct. But, whenever I mention this people suck the corners of the book they’re reading and drool a river of “no way, man. That’s what they said about radio.”  

Books need trees, and we ‘aint got that many.

I did some research wherein I went to a conservation website then wikipedia. I learnt that a tree makes a little over 8000 sheets of paper, twilight sold 116 million copies, and the series has an average page count of (about) 500.

A moment of silence please, to remember the seven million trees who lost their lives to further the inane fantasies of teenage girls.

The conservation trend is undeniable. Global warming, carbon emissions, save the whales, save the pandas, hug a tree, kill an Author. It is something we debate now, but in a couple of hundred years, I believe, will be as accepted a paradigm as the earth is flat.

Yes, yes I’m getting to the point: Who’s to say that in the future children won’t ask their parents “Mummy, Y all dem old peeps kill da trees 2 make books wen dey alredy had kindle?” – Because that’s how future children will speak… Obviously. While it doesn’t appear to be a factor right now, one day, the idea of hewing timber to print fiction could be considered unconscionable.

Novelty

A band I know records their music on tapes, and countless others are pressing vinyl. It’s a novelty that people like. It reminds us of simpler times when the air was sweet and the pandas were plentiful. 

People seem to get very curmudgeonly when the death of print is mentioned. But it is as inevitable as CD’s are redundant. But, just like vinyl, it will never truly die (which is something these people fail to see). It will be relegated to novelty.

A hip young 2120 author has a funky idea to impress his hover boarding buddies: “3d novel? Too mainstream. I’m gonna print,” he’ll say. Other authors will follow in his footsteps, but, e-books will still be the prominent means.

People will love it, the touch of paper, the smell of it. Brilliant. So hip.

Video killed the radio song that was big in the nineties.

Radio is dying…. Or is it? Yes. Digital radio, podcasts, all that heeby-jeeby is taking the forefront in voice-media (is that what you call it, I don’t know, if it’s not; you heard it here first… Twittersphere and shit, go!).

I don’t know much about the radio industry but I know it’s struggling. People still like radio shows (why, I don’t know), but the way in which they are consumed is changing. People are going online, listening to the shows they want. Skipping the old geezer shrouded in cigarette smoke, broadcasting his bizarre right-wing views from the comfort of tar-stained studio.

What radio is going through, is comparable to literature. It’s not that the industry is dying, the means of consumption is just changing. Every other night I see some curmudgeon (twice I’ve used that word :D) from the radio industry crying about how radio is in its death throws. But all I see is a wo/man scared of the future and incapable of keeping up.

Where are the Vikings to mess shit up?

I have been watching the show “Mankind: The story of us all” and it shed light on something that always confused me a little bit – Why, after Rome’s phenomenal advancement, did we go backwards and return to hitting eachother with sticks? Turns out it had a lot to do with some Germanic fellow with scraggly hair and a big sword.

You could consider the fall of Rome as the world’s first apocalypse. Instead of inventing hover boards and time travel, mankind regressed. Unless you watch a lot of doomsday preppers, you are most likely carry the belief that we will not be plunged into a second dark age and so, technology will progress as it has for the past thirty years.

Lets say we progress at this rate for another two thousand years. There are kids now days running around with ipads. Those kids will buy their kids ipads, and their kids kids ipad kids with ipads, etc, etc… I got a bit lost there. But in three or four generations every kid that isn’t wearing a leather jerkin and sifting shit for a living is going to have an ipad. When they’re young they’ll watch Glora da Esplora (future dora) and when they get older they’ll read books on it.

No longer will people have an attachment to print media. They will simply accept that books are consumed via a tablet.

But when?

Probably in a thousand years, maybe fifty. Who knows? Five years ago people thought twitter was the stupidest idea on the planet, now there are a trillion billion people telling us how good their latte is. The world we live in changes quickly, and I would not be shocked to find myself waving my light-sabre-walking (dare to dream) stick at the TV when the announce the liquidation of the last big publisher.

… Then again, I smoke and drink, and my diet consists mostly of chips, so if I live to thirty I’ll be shocked.

Thanks for reading

Cortez

PS. I’m really annoyed I was only able to use curmudgeon twice. It is a great word.

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